TACOS, TERROR, AND TIDINGS OF JOY
Sometimes memes make the perfect little writing prompts…this one was no exception (see below).
Welcome to the Hallmark movie no one knew we needed.
[RADIO COMMERCIAL SCRIPT]
ANNOUNCER (warm, earnest, aggressively cozy):
This holiday season, when love feels unavailable, emotionally avoidant, and booked solid until mid-February…
WOMAN (tired but charming):
“I’m not asking for forever. I’m asking for a text back and a pulse.”
ANNOUNCER:
She’s survived six situationships.
Eight men who were “really into her” but “super busy not trying.”
And one podcast episode telling her to be grateful for the lesson.
WOMAN:
“I’m thankful. I’m just also deeply annoyed.”
ANNOUNCER:
So this Christmas, she does the only sensible thing…
ominous music
…hunt a serial killer loose in her town.
WOMAN (focused):
“He strikes after midnight, a trail of tiny pico de gallo containers yet not a fingerprint in sight.”
ANNOUNCER:
But fate has other plans.
LOCATION: Late-night taco truck in Los Angeles
MAN (confident, calm, emotionally present):
“You seem oddly calm for someone standing in a CVS parking lot alone at 10 pm on Christmas.”
ANNOUNCER:
They meet…the chill running up her spine either a warning or pure chemistry.
WOMAN:
“I was buying batteries and pepper spray.”
MAN:
“I was buying Tums and hope.”
ANNOUNCER:
He’s not afraid of commitment.
Or joy.
Or risk.
Or tacos eaten alone in his car.
MAN:
“I deleted my dating apps. They made me sad and terrible at eye contact.”
ANNOUNCER (awestruck):
He listens. He asks follow-up questions. He believes Christmas lights are a human right.
WOMAN (in a text to her bestie):
“When someone is too good to be true…”
ANNOUNCER:
Together, they’ll hunt a killer,
unwrap emotional availability,
and discover that sometimes love arrives
when you stop chasing men who fear happiness
and start chasing actual criminals instead.
In the distance: jingle bells + police sirens
ANNOUNCER (smiling):
This holiday season, Hallmark invites you to fall in love with…
ALL TOGETHER:
“TACOS, TERROR, AND TIDINGS OF JOY.”
ANNOUNCER:
Rated PG for peril, passion, and a man who says what he means.
Because this Christmas
the real miracle
is a man who’s not only emotionally available,
but down to solve crime,
if it means renewing her faith in humanity…
one salsa smeared murder at a time.
