PLAYBOY: How to Handle Rejection Like a Real Man
ONDREA BARBE/PLAYBOY TRUNK ARCHIVE
Writing for Playboy has been an absolute dream come true, and seeing this piece in PRINT in the April 2026 edition was icing on the cake.
As I write more about modern dating and romance (especially after 40), I’m truly enjoying exploring what comes with the experience in my writing. It’s a wild and unexpected ride!
Rejection doesn’t have to be a five-alarm fire. It’s just feedback. How you handle it tells women everything we need to know about your nervous system, emotional range, and whether being close to you would feel deliciously safe or like a hostage situation. A man’s ability to stay open, communicative, confident, and kind (even when disappointed) is far sexier than pretending he never cared. A “pass” or an ending is just information; it’s what you do with it that matters.
“There’s strong psychological evidence that avoidance strengthens fear, while gradual exposure weakens it,” says Ryan C. Warner, Ph.D., a psychologist and public speaker. “The more men structure their lives around avoiding rejection, the more intimidating it becomes. Real-life interaction reverses that pattern. In my work, I’ve watched men change when they stop trying to impress and start trying to connect.”