Your Access Has Expired

i am generous
until I am not

i am open like a door left unlocked
for someone I trust
a table set
for one more hunger than mine
a body that knows
how to make space without shrinking

you think because I do not cage you
I am not choosing you

you mistook my openness
for permission

for a hallway
instead of a home
a place you pass through
on your way to somewhere else
a warm light you leave on
while you keep shopping for brighter ones

men like you don’t abandon women
you abandon yourselves
slowly
politely
one unexamined impulse at a time
one unopened feeling
one swallowed truth

avoidance is just narcissism in a different font
a man orbiting his own reflection
confusing appetite for intimacy
attention for love
noise for nourishment

you keep feeding the part of you that will never be full
then resent the women who notice you are still starving

every name you wave in the air like a match
every glowing screen that reminds me I am optional
teaches my nervous system how to close a door quietly

i am a giver
until I am disrespected

until I realize the open hand has become a convenience
until my softness is mistaken for availability instead of power
until my patience becomes a playground for your avoidance

then
the warmth withdraws
the altar empties
the woman who made space
becomes the woman who leaves none

not cruel
not loud
final

because the most dangerous thing a woman can do
is close the door
on a man who feasts on access